Monday, March 31, 2008

Counting Down

Our household goods are on the way to the Netherlands and in about a week, I'll be following. With any luck, all of us will arrive safely and in good time. As my last week in the US counts down, I am reflecting on the things I might miss.

Good ice cream - In America ice cream is it's own food group and is eaten daily for nutritional value. Our ice cream is made from real milk. There are enough flavors to fill an entire aisle in the freezer section. In Europe, the freezer in your house very much resembles the one you had in the dorm in college. You know, the four inch tall cold shelf inside the refrigerator. Yeah, there's no room for ice cream in the freezer. But you say, perhaps we can buy a small container and just eat it all at once? Too bad European ice cream is made with powdered milk and vegetable fat so it tastes like crap. No wonder they're skinny.

Chicago Style Hot Dogs - where else can you get your dog with relish, tomato, mustard, AND a pickle, but no ketchup? Enough said.

Italian Beef Sandwiches - obviously, there is nothing Italian about these gigantic soggy sandwiches. But they are fabulous and I'll miss them.

Huge parking lots, huge bathrooms, huge kitchens - OK maybe we are super-sized in the US, but you have to admit that some of it's nice.

In the category of things I will not miss is those darn little affinity cards. I just got my Marriott card in the mail and I realized just how many of these things I have. Dominick's, Jewel, Petsmart, CVS, Performance Bikes, all the airlines (United, American, Northwest, Delta), Blockbuster, etc. It's ridiculous all these silly cards. You have to have the card or you don't get their so-called discounts. Of course, the regular price is always four times what any normal person would spend on said item. The discount merely brings the price back to reasonable.

I hope they don't have those voice-activated automated phone systems in the Netherlands. They are bad enough in English, with that sappy voice that says, "I can help you with that!" If you could strangle a computerized voice over the phone line, this one would be dead. The conversation always goes in circles until can figure out the magic word that gets you a human. Hopefully Europe is more civilized than this.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Random Thoughts While Driving

Why do trucks feel it necessary to drive right up my tailpipe when I'm already going 15 mph over the speed limit? According to all of those useless signs by the side of the road, trucks are supposed to be going slower than the cars. Maybe we can save a bunch of money by not having all those silly speed limit signs.

Will there ever be a time when people can drive from Chicago through Indiana without road construction? In ten years, I've never seen it. Maybe some Chicago natives can shed light on this issue.

Wow, there are a lot of religious radio stations in Indiana!

If global warming is such a big deal, why isn't it warmer today? And why is it still snowing? I'm ready for spring already!

Why are Whoppers (the candy, not the burger) so horrible? Malted milk balls can be really good, and then there are Whoppers. A thin layer of bad chocolate covering a flimsy piece of malted milk. The malted milk center disintegrates into mush. Yuck!

Why are Whoppers (the burger this time) so horrible? Why would candy and hamburgers have the same name? Maybe they just want to share their horribleness. Whoppers, the burger again, taste like lighter fluid. Some people think grilled food is supposed to taste like lighter fluid because they aren't patient enough to wait for the charcoal to cook down properly. Here's an idea for impatient people - get a gas grill. Fast food and no lighter fluid flavor.

Why do we have so many casinos these days? What happened to gambling being immoral? Especially with all the religious radio stations in Indiana. I think the politicians know they can't raise taxes on the people who vote. So, they open casinos to pull money from people who don't vote. It's like a tax for stupid people.

Are we there yet?

Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

After a week of messing with all the relocation details and almost no real work -I have made some progress. Unfortunately, it's one step forward and two steps back.

House Contract - Yeah! We got the final signed contract for the house and all looks good.

Residence Permit for Customs Declaration - Ouch! There's no way around it; they need the residence permit to process our stuff through customs. Now, remember that the immigration lawyer had told us that we have to apply for the residence permit in-person in the town where we are going to live. But it can take a few months to process and we can't get our stuff through customs until we have it. I sent some desperate sounding emails and the lawyer finally came up with a new plan. Apparently, he can apply for a temporary residence permit for us before we arrive. I don't know how long it will take, but at least it's a head start. So, after a week of teeth gnashing, I finally think we'll get our stuff in a reasonable amount of time. Mark my words, they may come back to haunt me! But here's what I don't get: how is it that in a multinational company with relocation experts and immigration lawyers nobody knew this was going to be an issue? Isn't that their job?

Taxes and Husband's Job - Massive confusion! The people at Ernst and Young and Price Waterhouse Coopers (yes, we will be working with both companies simultaneously) don't seem to want to help us with my man's situation. Of course, they are paid by my company and are only focused on filing my taxes. Once we asked a few questions about how his job would affect the taxes, they pretty much shut down. Now they aren't even returning our emails.

What really bothers me about this is the whole old-fashioned sexist notion that an ex-pat is a man with a wife who doesn't work and a couple kids who attend international school. Too bad for you if you don't fit that stereotype. This is really the first time I've been confronted with this kind of institutional sexism and it makes me mad. I thought we were past this crap.

The upshot is that we now have an appointment with a company that does tax planning specifically for Americans in the Netherlands. We will have to pay for the advice, but I think we'll get some better information on how to avoid excessive taxation. Again, mark my words, I might have to eat them later!

For those of you who are getting bored with all the relocation complaints, rest assured there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I have an airline ticket for April 8 and it's one-way!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Catch 22

Today I received an email from the moving company. The lady who sent it is the international moving coordinator. She's in Switzerland. She sent me a list of documents that I need to have filled out and ready for the customs declaration.

The first document is the Dutch Customs form, in Dutch of course. The lady kindly included a translation page. I realized pretty quickly that the translation was bogus. Remember, they don't speak Dutch in Switzerland. So, I spent the next several hours running the form through Babel Fish, the on-line translator.

Besides asking the usual questions that I should know the answer to and don't (like when are you going arrive in the Netherlands), they asked some really odd questions. They want a copy of the purchase agreement on the house where we currently live in the US. I can't think of any reason why we would still have that nor of any reason why they would want it. We've been living in the same house for 10 years, do they really care that we wanted the washer and dryer and the curtains when we bought the place?

The next strange request was for a copy of our Dutch residence permit. Apparently, the Dutch Customs office doesn't realize that you don't get a residence permit until you move in. You actually have 3 days to present yourself to the authorities in your new community. You must apply in person and have proof of where you are going to live. It's the classic tale of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing.

Oh and we STILL don't have a rental contract on the house in the Netherlands. I guess the owner's real estate agent was on vacation, so it's just been sitting. We need the rental contract for the customs paperwork, too. We've been working on this rental contract for almost 4 weeks now. That's crazy, isn't it? I have been sending weekly emails to my real estate agent asking for updates - each email sounding a bit more desperate. My new tactic is to send daily emails. In today's email, I explained that this contract delay is holding up our entire move. With a 5-week transit time, we are already stuck until the end of April before we can move in, although we start paying rent on the first of April.

To add to all of this crap today, we also had a conference call with the Dutch tax company. They were very helpful, but the Dutch government is going to rob us blind. If Dennis keeps his job, he will pay 52% in taxes and then another 15,000 euros a year for Dutch social security. With the poor exchange rate, it will end up being about 70% tax rate! Add to that the cost of long distance phone calls for work and occasional flights back and forth (non-reimbursable because he is choosing to live so far away) and it looks like a loosing proposition. Dennis has always wanted to be a "kept man" and he might realize that dream. He'd be bored out of his mind in two weeks, though. I'm sure he can look for a Dutch job and he'll qualify for a work permit based on my work status.

I knew I'd get super frustrated at some point in this process. That time has come.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

CIncinnati Blizzard of 2008

The last blizzard in Cincinnati was in 1996 according to the non-stop news coverage of this weekend's storm. The snow started on Friday morning as we arrived at work. The early morning news had all the school closing and early dismissal announcements. So, a lot of folks at work were planning to leave around noon to get their kids. Remembering the 1.5 hour commute the last time it snowed here, I was also planning to leave early.

I got on the road at 1:00 after wiping 2 inches of snow off my car. I stopped at the very crowded grocery store to buy supplies for the weekend. The roads were not terrible, but there was some packed snow and slushy junk that made driving a little slow. I was glad I had decided not to drive back to Chicago. It took a little rearranging of the weekend plans, but it just wasn't safe to make the drive. Does that make me old or just wise?

This morning, I woke up to 8" of inches of snow and it's still coming down. The wind is supposed to pick up today causing the real-live-blizzard warning. The hotel people are busy shoveling the walkways (lots of little outdoor walkways at the Residence Inn). As soon as they clear a stretch, it snows over again.

So, my day is going to consist of laundry, watching whatever movies come on TV, and visiting the workout room. I may as well watch stupid movies from the stationary bike. My fitness level has crashed dramatically since summer when I was racing in triathlons. I've been seriously distracted by the move and my whole routine is changed. I've been doing the bare minimum exercise to keep from becoming "sedentary." But I'm sliding awfully close to that mark, too. Maybe that's why I'm so impatient to get this move completed.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Cool Toys

After a couple months of not-so-subtle hinting, my husband finally got me an Amazon Kindle. For those of you who haven't heard of the Kindle, rest assured it has nothing to do with large women burning down your house. It's one of those electronic books from Amazon, the on-line book seller.

I've had it for a while now, and it's super cool! Unlike most of the other electronic readers, the Kindle actually has real books that I want to read. I have to buy them, but they are cheaper than most paperbacks. The other readers that my husband tried to suggest were limited to free on-line content. As you can imagine, there are a lot of free books out there, but let's just say you get what you pay for.

The Kindle comes with wireless access, but there's no monthly access fee. You can flip on the Kindle, shop on-line at Amazon.com, and the book is zapped to the Kindle within seconds. It's like magic to a non-techy person like me! I can also use a USB cable when I'm outside the wireless network (like in the Netherlands, for example).

The unit itself is about the size and weight of a small paperback. It will hold up to 10 novels at a time. This is a great feature for traveling. I can download 10 books before I leave and not have to carry all that extra weight. And when I am sitting by myself in a restaurant, I can put the Kindle on the table and not have to struggle with holding the pages open. As I get tired, I can increase the font size. The screen is not backlit like a computer screen either so your eyes don't get as tired. It has some special kind of display that doesn't take much power so the battery lasts a long time, too.

I've already read Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen and now I'm working on The Book of Air and Shadows by Michael Gruber. Both are good books. I'm always looking for good book suggestions, so post a comment if you have a favorite book!

Before you think I'm a paid advertiser for this product (I'm not), let me point out a couple of things that could be improved. The Kindle cover that comes with the unit is seriously flawed. It's a leather and suede cover much like the cover of a real hard-back book. But it doesn't hook onto the Kindle very well so it always feels like it's falling out. Seems like they could have figured out some better engineering on that! Also, the page turning buttons are so big that you end up accidentally turning the page every time you try to straighten the Kindle in the crappy cover. There's very little room between the buttons to hold the unit. These are minor complaints, though. Overall, I think this is an awesome new toy for anyone who read a lot.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Practicing Stick Shift

I drove home on Thursday night this week. Friday morning we had meetings with two different moving companies. They will put in bids on our move. Both companies seemed very good and had lots of good tips for international relocation. Friday afternoon, I had some rare time to run errands - bank transfers, cancelling the YMCA, etc. At least it's a few things crossed off the list.

On Saturday, Dennis and I went to CarMax to get his car appraised. At the same time, we figured we could take a stick shift car out for a test drive. Dennis concocted a story that we are shopping for a small, cheap car to leave at the house while we are moving to the Netherlands. The salesman was an older guy, about 55-60, and rather crusty. He seemed rather confused by our car choices as he was scrolling through the computerized list. We didn't tell him we wanted a stick shift, so our choices seemed quite random. Finally, we found one that he had available. It's amazing that there aren't very many stick shift cars at CarMax.

So the crusty sales guy walks out to the lot with us. My heart sinks as he tells us he has to ride along on the test drive. We picked a small car so he wouldn't want to go with us. But the old crusty guy wedged himself in the back seat of the itty-bitty two door car. As he climbed in, he said, "I'm really supposed to drive the car off the lot for you, but I don't drive stick shift." I was dumbstruck - what kind of old man who sells cars doesn't drive stick shift? I don't feel nearly so dumb now! OK, it's probably not fair to compare myself to a 55 year old used car salesman, but it did make me feel better.

Dennis takes the first drive and then with a perfect poker face asks me if I'm ready to trade drivers. I say, "Sure, but it's been a while since I've driven stick." I'm sure Dennis held his breath as I got the car going without obvious coaching. I only stalled the car twice! Actually, the little Toyota was very easy to drive. The sales guy even said I did good!

We'll see what I decide to buy when we get to the Netherlands.