I know that I’ve mentioned language difficulties a few times, but I think it deserves a bit more attention. Nearly everyone in the Netherlands speaks English – probably better than a lot of Americans – but they speak British English, not American. This leaves a lot of room for confusion!
The one thing I have still not gotten used to is what floor I work on. I insist that I’m on the third floor. Everyone in Europe thinks I’m on the second floor. They begin counting with the ground floor, or floor zero. In the US, the ground floor is one.
The next troublesome point is the time – and this one is double-trouble. In the Netherlands they say half nine to mean 8:30. But when the British say half nine, they mean 9:30. In the US, we just say what we mean. I always have to confirm what time they really mean.
Numbers in general are difficult to translate between Dutch and English. In Dutch, they say the numbers backwards so 46 is said six and forty (of course, the numbers are said in Dutch). The Dutch suddenly become terribly dyslexic when translating numbers to English and many will translate six and forty to 64. I see it all the time on the TV subtitles, too. With money, you often get twice the confusion. Your total is 65.94 becomes five and sixty, four and ninety. My mind can’t translate the numbers and turn them around quite that fast, so I just look at the register for the amount or I mindlessly use my PIN card.
British people go on holiday, while Americans go on vacation. What we would call a holiday in the US, is known as a public holiday. Dutch people go on vacantie, but translate it as holiday.
I think the British got in too much trouble for their funny pronunciation of the word schedule so now they ask you to check your diary. I personally haven’t had a diary since I was 16 (unless you count this blog, of course). I chuckle every time I’m asked about my diary.
Children’s games are especially fun. I found out that Tic Tac Toe is called naughts and crosses in England. In Dutch, it’s called botter, kaas, and eiren (butter, cheese, and eggs). While I was in the B-section of the Dutch-English dictionary, I noticed that botterham trommel is Dutch for lunch box. Sandwich bags are called botterham zakjes. It seems that everything having to do with sandwiches is called botterham because they eat so many ham sandwiches with butter. And the Dutch favorite hagelslag (literally hail), translates to tens and thousands in British, but in American we just call them chocolate sprinkles.
I was impressed to learn that a backpack in Dutch is called a rugzak. Rug is the word for back and zak is a bag. In England, they call a backpack a rucksack – interesting how similar these words are.
You have to be careful at the market and know that an ounce in the Netherlands is 100g. For the non-cooks out there, an American ounce is about 30g and there are 16 oz in a pound. So if you order 8 ounces of fish here, you’ll be getting close to 2 lbs rather than half a pound! That could be an expensive problem. If you ask for a pound of something here, you will get 500g which is remarkably close to an American pound.
The British people that we went skiing with kept talking about one of the guys who lost 2 stones and looked really good. I had to ask the question, “What’s a stone?” Yes, it sounded pretty dumb when I asked it, too. A stone is 14 pounds. Damn the British for coming up with such stupid measurements!
By the way, I also had to ask, “What’s a quid?” It’s actually the language equivalent of a buck, so a quid is one pound (no, not the weight, the money!). And of course we haven’t even talked about lorries, lifts, trollies, and wellies.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
eet smakelijk
When I buy lunch in the cafeteria, the person at the register always tells me to eet smakelijk. As I sit down, my co-workers say the same thing to me and each other. It is literally translated as eat tastily. In France, they would say bon appetit, or good appetite. So the question always arises, “What do they say in America?”
Here are some thoughts:
1) Nothing – we just eat
2) Enjoy your meal
3) Shut up and eat
4) Dig in!
5) Lord, we thank you for the food we are about to receive…
What else do YOU say before eating?
Here are some thoughts:
1) Nothing – we just eat
2) Enjoy your meal
3) Shut up and eat
4) Dig in!
5) Lord, we thank you for the food we are about to receive…
What else do YOU say before eating?
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Birthday Weekend
On Thursday, I celebrated my 40th birthday. Birthdays are a big deal in NL, so when I got to work I found my office had been decorated for the occasion. Everyone who walked by noticed the flags and streamers and wished me a happy birthday and gave me the standard three kiss greeting. I brought home-made American cookies and brownies to share at tea time. These were very popular.
For dinner that evening, Dennis and I went to the restaurant just down the street from the house. They serve typical Dutch food, but it’s usually pretty good stuff. For dessert, we got the Crepes Suzette with a huge sparkler on top instead of candles. I was one of three people in the restaurant that evening getting fireworks on my dessert. The 5th must be a popular birthday!
The fireworks reminded me I spent my last birthday here in the Netherlands also. I was here for business meetings and then Dennis joined me for house hunting. I remember that I was completely jet-lagged and was struggling to stay awake during dinner with the group. I had never seen a sparkler as big as the one they put on my dessert. I can hardly believe that it was a year ago!
My cat gave me a lovely birthday present by pooping on the dining room floor. I think he’s still mad because we left him for a week. We hired the neighbor girl to feed him and I’m sure she spent some time petting him, but he was still angry. At least we didn’t have to send him to the kennel again after he got so sick there the last time! The cat continued his naughtiness last night by breaking into his food container. I really don’t know how much food he got, but he wasn’t hungry for breakfast this morning. And naturally, he just puked because he must have known I was writing about him. What a brat!
For this weekend, the weather forecast was for a sunny Sunday. Dennis and I decided to drive over to another town and walk along the lake shore. We wanted to start exploring a bit more by car and also get out for a hike. The sun was out early this morning, but just as we were leaving, it started to rain. We decided the weather would change four times before we got to our destination anyway, so we left. Driving was a pleasure with very few cars on the road. We went across the lake to the recently created Flevoland. Flevoland was reclaimed from the lake about 50 years ago. We had biked there before, but always avoided the cities. Today, we drove through the cities. The architecture was very modern – as you would expect from a city so young. There was a building that looked like a spaceship, and another that looked like it was tipped sideways. Crazy!
We finally made it to our start point for the hike and the sun was shining again. It was cold, but it IS February after all. We walked for about 20 minutes when it started raining. Another 10 minutes and the rain turned to snow. We turned around, deciding that it was a bit too miserable for hiking. We stopped for tea at a coffee shop along the beach and we laughed as the snow fell harder and harder. Once we were warm and dry again, we headed back to the car. The snow was almost done by then, but it was colder. Yuck! We’ll have to try another hike next week and hope for better weather!
For dinner that evening, Dennis and I went to the restaurant just down the street from the house. They serve typical Dutch food, but it’s usually pretty good stuff. For dessert, we got the Crepes Suzette with a huge sparkler on top instead of candles. I was one of three people in the restaurant that evening getting fireworks on my dessert. The 5th must be a popular birthday!
The fireworks reminded me I spent my last birthday here in the Netherlands also. I was here for business meetings and then Dennis joined me for house hunting. I remember that I was completely jet-lagged and was struggling to stay awake during dinner with the group. I had never seen a sparkler as big as the one they put on my dessert. I can hardly believe that it was a year ago!
My cat gave me a lovely birthday present by pooping on the dining room floor. I think he’s still mad because we left him for a week. We hired the neighbor girl to feed him and I’m sure she spent some time petting him, but he was still angry. At least we didn’t have to send him to the kennel again after he got so sick there the last time! The cat continued his naughtiness last night by breaking into his food container. I really don’t know how much food he got, but he wasn’t hungry for breakfast this morning. And naturally, he just puked because he must have known I was writing about him. What a brat!
For this weekend, the weather forecast was for a sunny Sunday. Dennis and I decided to drive over to another town and walk along the lake shore. We wanted to start exploring a bit more by car and also get out for a hike. The sun was out early this morning, but just as we were leaving, it started to rain. We decided the weather would change four times before we got to our destination anyway, so we left. Driving was a pleasure with very few cars on the road. We went across the lake to the recently created Flevoland. Flevoland was reclaimed from the lake about 50 years ago. We had biked there before, but always avoided the cities. Today, we drove through the cities. The architecture was very modern – as you would expect from a city so young. There was a building that looked like a spaceship, and another that looked like it was tipped sideways. Crazy!
We finally made it to our start point for the hike and the sun was shining again. It was cold, but it IS February after all. We walked for about 20 minutes when it started raining. Another 10 minutes and the rain turned to snow. We turned around, deciding that it was a bit too miserable for hiking. We stopped for tea at a coffee shop along the beach and we laughed as the snow fell harder and harder. Once we were warm and dry again, we headed back to the car. The snow was almost done by then, but it was colder. Yuck! We’ll have to try another hike next week and hope for better weather!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Skiing in the Alps
Ski runs in the Alps.
One of the huge, bus-style gondolas.
Fancy-dress (this is really a guy).
Me with my new ski buddies.
Dennis and I had a lovely ski holiday in France. The ski resort, Le Trois Vallee, is the largest interconnected ski area in the world. We flew into Geneva Switzerland and the ski chalet staff picked us up in a mini-bus. We drove for a few hours to the chalet in the little town of La Tania. Once there, we started meeting the other people in the group and learning how the ski chalet works.
The chalet is like a big house with a dining room and family room with TVs. The bedrooms are very small, but have private bathrooms. Breakfast, afternoon tea, and dinner are served in the dining room. Lunch was the only meal we had to buy. The chalet holds 28 guests and there were about 5 staff members to take care of us. The staff took care of everything for us. They got our lift passes, reserved rental skis, and even took us on guided ski tours.
The group that we were with is a ski club from England. We got together with them through my co-worker, whose father organizes the trip. So, we didn’t know any of these people when we got there, but they knew each other. The ages ranged from 8 to 80, but Dennis and I were on the younger side of the average. It was a very friendly group and we felt included from the start.
On the day we arrived, it was snowing and it snowed the whole first night. In the morning, the sun was shining and we went out with the ski-guide to explore the mountain. There were only about 6 of us with the ski guide that day, including Heather, the octogenarian. Let me tell you, Heather is a darn good skier! I skied with her quite a bit through the week and she always had to wait for me at the bottom! Having a ski guide is a fantastic way to ski. He showed us the best ski runs, shortest lift lines, and the cheapest lunch options. Best of all, we didn’t waste any time looking at the ski map.
The fresh snow was brilliant, but with snow comes clouds. On the third day of skiing, the clouds were so thick that we could not even see the runs. They had poles marking the pistes (runs) set about 20 feet apart. At some points, we were only able to ski from one pole to the next. We tried to go up higher on the mountain to get above the clouds – no luck. We tried to go lower to get below the clouds – no luck. But, we still had fun and we only got lost once when we missed the turn-off to our chalet and had to ride up the list again to make it home.
The fourth day was completely clear and sunny. We decided to try to ski to the far side of the resort. The resort, despite the name, actually contains four valleys. When going this far, you have to remember to leave enough time to get back before the lifts close. We got out to the third valley by 2:00. We had a quick snack and headed back to the chalet. We really had to hurry to make it and I was really getting tired. To get where we wanted to go, we had to ski down into the valleys to catch the lift up to the next peak. As we got lower, the pistes became more crowded and more icy. One run was just a big ice slick that we slid down sideways. I was terrified! I was tired! And I was worried that I was going so slow we’d miss the last lift! But the group stayed supportive and encouraged me to hang in there. We finally made it up the last lift with a few minutes to spare. I started to ski towards the chalet and through my haze of exhaustion I noticed that we were headed right for the top of the gondola that we started from every morning. A quick check of my watch indicated that if I hurried, I could ride the gondola back down before it closed at 4:30. I was super-relieved to have an easy way down. My sister actually taught me this trick when we skied in Utah. The bottom of the mountain is usually icy and crowded as everyone is heading back down for the afternoon. When you are tired at the end of the day, it can be dangerous to ski in those conditions. Riding the gondola down is the safest option.
Dennis managed to find some people who wanted to ski hard stuff and I managed to find a group that I really enjoyed skiing with. We had tons of fun skiing. In the evenings, the group hung around the chalet talking and playing cards and stuff. One night, we did a quiz game in teams of 6. Dennis and I were recruited onto different teams. With most of the questions being British oriented, we were not very helpful. But there were a couple questions where Dennis and I were the only ones who knew the answer. See how you do:
What is the state animal of Wisconsin?
What sport is featured in the movie American Flyers?
What city is the headquarters of the Morman Church located in?
My team won the game and Dennis’ team was second place.
On the last night, the group did a “fancy dress” dinner. When we were first told about fancy dress, I was panicking because I didn’t want to pack formal clothes with all of our ski gear. A few days before we left, the guy who organizes the tour called to discuss the last minute details. He gave some examples of fancy dress: he had worn a kilt, one couple dressed as sumo wrestlers, men dressing as women etc. Dennis immediately decided that we should wear Hawaiian shirts and be American tourists. It ended up being a hilarious evening. The staff even dressed up and joined in the fun. The British are completely mad!
Now, we are back at home all safe and sound from our trip. We had so much fun that I’m afraid no other ski trip will ever be as good!
The chalet is like a big house with a dining room and family room with TVs. The bedrooms are very small, but have private bathrooms. Breakfast, afternoon tea, and dinner are served in the dining room. Lunch was the only meal we had to buy. The chalet holds 28 guests and there were about 5 staff members to take care of us. The staff took care of everything for us. They got our lift passes, reserved rental skis, and even took us on guided ski tours.
The group that we were with is a ski club from England. We got together with them through my co-worker, whose father organizes the trip. So, we didn’t know any of these people when we got there, but they knew each other. The ages ranged from 8 to 80, but Dennis and I were on the younger side of the average. It was a very friendly group and we felt included from the start.
On the day we arrived, it was snowing and it snowed the whole first night. In the morning, the sun was shining and we went out with the ski-guide to explore the mountain. There were only about 6 of us with the ski guide that day, including Heather, the octogenarian. Let me tell you, Heather is a darn good skier! I skied with her quite a bit through the week and she always had to wait for me at the bottom! Having a ski guide is a fantastic way to ski. He showed us the best ski runs, shortest lift lines, and the cheapest lunch options. Best of all, we didn’t waste any time looking at the ski map.
The fresh snow was brilliant, but with snow comes clouds. On the third day of skiing, the clouds were so thick that we could not even see the runs. They had poles marking the pistes (runs) set about 20 feet apart. At some points, we were only able to ski from one pole to the next. We tried to go up higher on the mountain to get above the clouds – no luck. We tried to go lower to get below the clouds – no luck. But, we still had fun and we only got lost once when we missed the turn-off to our chalet and had to ride up the list again to make it home.
The fourth day was completely clear and sunny. We decided to try to ski to the far side of the resort. The resort, despite the name, actually contains four valleys. When going this far, you have to remember to leave enough time to get back before the lifts close. We got out to the third valley by 2:00. We had a quick snack and headed back to the chalet. We really had to hurry to make it and I was really getting tired. To get where we wanted to go, we had to ski down into the valleys to catch the lift up to the next peak. As we got lower, the pistes became more crowded and more icy. One run was just a big ice slick that we slid down sideways. I was terrified! I was tired! And I was worried that I was going so slow we’d miss the last lift! But the group stayed supportive and encouraged me to hang in there. We finally made it up the last lift with a few minutes to spare. I started to ski towards the chalet and through my haze of exhaustion I noticed that we were headed right for the top of the gondola that we started from every morning. A quick check of my watch indicated that if I hurried, I could ride the gondola back down before it closed at 4:30. I was super-relieved to have an easy way down. My sister actually taught me this trick when we skied in Utah. The bottom of the mountain is usually icy and crowded as everyone is heading back down for the afternoon. When you are tired at the end of the day, it can be dangerous to ski in those conditions. Riding the gondola down is the safest option.
Dennis managed to find some people who wanted to ski hard stuff and I managed to find a group that I really enjoyed skiing with. We had tons of fun skiing. In the evenings, the group hung around the chalet talking and playing cards and stuff. One night, we did a quiz game in teams of 6. Dennis and I were recruited onto different teams. With most of the questions being British oriented, we were not very helpful. But there were a couple questions where Dennis and I were the only ones who knew the answer. See how you do:
What is the state animal of Wisconsin?
What sport is featured in the movie American Flyers?
What city is the headquarters of the Morman Church located in?
My team won the game and Dennis’ team was second place.
On the last night, the group did a “fancy dress” dinner. When we were first told about fancy dress, I was panicking because I didn’t want to pack formal clothes with all of our ski gear. A few days before we left, the guy who organizes the tour called to discuss the last minute details. He gave some examples of fancy dress: he had worn a kilt, one couple dressed as sumo wrestlers, men dressing as women etc. Dennis immediately decided that we should wear Hawaiian shirts and be American tourists. It ended up being a hilarious evening. The staff even dressed up and joined in the fun. The British are completely mad!
Now, we are back at home all safe and sound from our trip. We had so much fun that I’m afraid no other ski trip will ever be as good!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The next big trip - skiing in the Alps
Now that the ice skating craze is over and global warming is back in effect, it’s time to turn our attention to more important things, like vacation! Dennis and I are finalizing our plans for our ski trip in the French Alps. We are leaving next weekend and we’ll be gone for a whole week.
Dennis and I had been looking at various ski places around Europe, but we really had no idea which place would be good. We were asking around for advice and found out that Switzerland is good for hard, technical skiing, Austria is good for after ski partying, and France is good for intermediate skiing with a relaxed family-oriented atmosphere. Not being party animals, we decided that France would be fun. One of my coworkers told me that his dad runs a ski trip and he put us in contact.
The club ski trip is in Le Trois Vallee, which is the largest group of interconnected ski resorts in Europe. We will be staying in a chalet that serves dinner every night prepared by a French Chef. Of course, French wine is also served. Hopefully, it will be as good in real life as it sounds on paper (well, not really paper…).
I bought the airline tickets directly on the KLM website. KLM, like their US partners, has instituted a strict luggage policy. At least the first piece of luggage is free, though. But I had to call to get approval to take the skis. The guy told me that the skis could count as my free luggage as long as I don’t have any other luggage. Is this guy for real? How can anyone go skiing with only skis and no other luggage? To get approval for the skis, he needed to know the exact dimensions and weight of the ski bag. In the end it took three phone calls to the airline to get it straight. The skis are nearly as inconvenient as taking the cat on the plane!
Speaking of the cat, we have asked the neighbor girl to watch Nova while we are gone. When we picked up the cat from the kennel after out trip to Spain, he was very sick. Have you ever seen a cat with a head-cold? He looked miserable and could not even breathe through is nose. He had to breathe through his mouth with his tongue hanging out! Anyway, it will be nice for the cat to be safe at home and the neighbor girl was pretty excited to earn some extra money. It turns out that she’s an experienced cat-sitter, too. She and her Mom will come over this weekend to see where we keep the cat food and stuff. My next chore (yes, writing the blog is actually procrastination for other chores) is to write the care instructions for the cat in English and in Dutch. The girl does not speak English although her Mom does and could translate. But writing the directions in Dutch will be good practice for me. I’ll get one of my coworkers to correct all my mistakes!
I learned a bit more Dutch this week at work. We were talking about hair styles. One lady was talking about her “pony” but she was pointing to her bangs. I said that in the US, a “pony” would be a ponytail and I pulled my hair back to show her. She said, yes that’s a ponytail, but ponies also have hair on their forehead, as in a forelock. In England, they call bangs a fringe. I think the word fringe is much more descriptive than bangs or pony. Does anyone know why Americans use the word bangs?
Dennis and I had been looking at various ski places around Europe, but we really had no idea which place would be good. We were asking around for advice and found out that Switzerland is good for hard, technical skiing, Austria is good for after ski partying, and France is good for intermediate skiing with a relaxed family-oriented atmosphere. Not being party animals, we decided that France would be fun. One of my coworkers told me that his dad runs a ski trip and he put us in contact.
The club ski trip is in Le Trois Vallee, which is the largest group of interconnected ski resorts in Europe. We will be staying in a chalet that serves dinner every night prepared by a French Chef. Of course, French wine is also served. Hopefully, it will be as good in real life as it sounds on paper (well, not really paper…).
I bought the airline tickets directly on the KLM website. KLM, like their US partners, has instituted a strict luggage policy. At least the first piece of luggage is free, though. But I had to call to get approval to take the skis. The guy told me that the skis could count as my free luggage as long as I don’t have any other luggage. Is this guy for real? How can anyone go skiing with only skis and no other luggage? To get approval for the skis, he needed to know the exact dimensions and weight of the ski bag. In the end it took three phone calls to the airline to get it straight. The skis are nearly as inconvenient as taking the cat on the plane!
Speaking of the cat, we have asked the neighbor girl to watch Nova while we are gone. When we picked up the cat from the kennel after out trip to Spain, he was very sick. Have you ever seen a cat with a head-cold? He looked miserable and could not even breathe through is nose. He had to breathe through his mouth with his tongue hanging out! Anyway, it will be nice for the cat to be safe at home and the neighbor girl was pretty excited to earn some extra money. It turns out that she’s an experienced cat-sitter, too. She and her Mom will come over this weekend to see where we keep the cat food and stuff. My next chore (yes, writing the blog is actually procrastination for other chores) is to write the care instructions for the cat in English and in Dutch. The girl does not speak English although her Mom does and could translate. But writing the directions in Dutch will be good practice for me. I’ll get one of my coworkers to correct all my mistakes!
I learned a bit more Dutch this week at work. We were talking about hair styles. One lady was talking about her “pony” but she was pointing to her bangs. I said that in the US, a “pony” would be a ponytail and I pulled my hair back to show her. She said, yes that’s a ponytail, but ponies also have hair on their forehead, as in a forelock. In England, they call bangs a fringe. I think the word fringe is much more descriptive than bangs or pony. Does anyone know why Americans use the word bangs?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Happy New Year!
After getting back home only one day behind schedule, I was happy that I had the whole week off anyway. I spent some of my free time working on the last of my Christmas cards. Of course, they are now New Year's cards and since I haven't gotten them mailed yet, they are in danger of becoming Valentine's Day cards!
New Year is a pretty big deal around the Netherlands. All the bike stores improve their winter sales figures by selling fire works. The liquor stores also do a big business. Being boring, Dennis and I stayed home and planned to be fast asleep by midnight. People were setting off fireworks all evening, but we finally drifted off to sleep around eleven. At midnight, we were startled awake by the noise of a million fireworks. We opened the curtains to watch. It sounded like a war-zone! Everyone was out in the streets with everything from firecrackers to Roman candles to professional style rockets. All the way around the house, we could see the fireworks. It went on for more than an hour.
We were surprised that the normally very reserved and conservative Dutch people would spend so much money on fireworks! In the morning, the streets were covered in red papers and other debris from the fireworks. I wondered how many people were missing fingers - but we still don't catch all the news around here!
Dennis had Thursday and Friday off work and it was nice to spend a few days just relaxing. We went to Ikea and bought some stuff for the house. We also got out for some long walks around the neighborhood. It was pretty cold, but the sun was out which is a special occasion around here. On Saturday, it was cold enough that people were out ice skating on some of the canals. It's been at least five years since the canals have frozen around here, so this was a very special occasion! The deeper waterways were still not frozen and a rain shower on Sunday morning caused a lot more thawing. But it's been cold enough since then to get everything good and frozen. People left work early today to go skating in the daylight and I expect a lot of people will take off on Friday to skate. It might be the last chance for another five years!
Dennis and I probably will not take part in the skating. While the idea of skating around the lakes is more appealing than going in a circle around an ice rink, I'm not sure its very safe. Remember, the Dutch think it's prefectly safe to ride a bike with a kid in the child seat while talking on the cell phone with no helmets on. I had one memorable skating incident in college that left me with a broken elbow, so it's not just thin ice that worries me!
New Year is a pretty big deal around the Netherlands. All the bike stores improve their winter sales figures by selling fire works. The liquor stores also do a big business. Being boring, Dennis and I stayed home and planned to be fast asleep by midnight. People were setting off fireworks all evening, but we finally drifted off to sleep around eleven. At midnight, we were startled awake by the noise of a million fireworks. We opened the curtains to watch. It sounded like a war-zone! Everyone was out in the streets with everything from firecrackers to Roman candles to professional style rockets. All the way around the house, we could see the fireworks. It went on for more than an hour.
We were surprised that the normally very reserved and conservative Dutch people would spend so much money on fireworks! In the morning, the streets were covered in red papers and other debris from the fireworks. I wondered how many people were missing fingers - but we still don't catch all the news around here!
Dennis had Thursday and Friday off work and it was nice to spend a few days just relaxing. We went to Ikea and bought some stuff for the house. We also got out for some long walks around the neighborhood. It was pretty cold, but the sun was out which is a special occasion around here. On Saturday, it was cold enough that people were out ice skating on some of the canals. It's been at least five years since the canals have frozen around here, so this was a very special occasion! The deeper waterways were still not frozen and a rain shower on Sunday morning caused a lot more thawing. But it's been cold enough since then to get everything good and frozen. People left work early today to go skating in the daylight and I expect a lot of people will take off on Friday to skate. It might be the last chance for another five years!
Dennis and I probably will not take part in the skating. While the idea of skating around the lakes is more appealing than going in a circle around an ice rink, I'm not sure its very safe. Remember, the Dutch think it's prefectly safe to ride a bike with a kid in the child seat while talking on the cell phone with no helmets on. I had one memorable skating incident in college that left me with a broken elbow, so it's not just thin ice that worries me!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Flying at Christmas
“Attention in the waiting area. Please note that flight 666 will be departing out of gate B3, not A21 as listed on the airport monitors. The airport is in charge of the monitors and they are not updating the information properly. Also, the flight is delayed by an hour and a half. Thank you for flying Satan’s Airline and have a nice day!”
“Welcome on board Satan’s Airline Flight 666. Due to bad weather at our destination, we will not be able to take-off for another 2 hours.”
“As we reach our cruising altitude, we will turn off the fasten seat belt sign. At this time, the flight attendants will go through the cabin to sell beverages and snacks. Everything costs $3.64 and exact change is required. The flight attendants are here for your safety, not to provide you with change.”
“Sorry to cut the beverage service short, but we are experiencing some serious turbulence. For your safety, please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts. The turbulence will be a problem for about 40 minutes.”
“Air sickness bags can be found in the seat back pockets. If you do not need your air sickness bag, please pass it to the rear of the aircraft where extra bags are desperately needed. Thank you!”
“As you can tell, we have started circling the airport. They are changing the runway configuration in response to the changing weather conditions. We estimate landing in about 30 minutes. Sorry for the turbulence, we will be on the ground just as soon as we can.”
“Satan’s Airline would like to welcome you to the 9th circle of Hell. For those of trying to make a connection, please check the monitors in the terminal for flight information. Since we are about 4 hours late, you have probably already missed your connection. To get rescheduled, go to the customer service desk in the main terminal. Expect the lines to be really long because we laid off most of our employees and the rest called in sick. If this is your final destination, you can collect your bags at baggage claim 5. Please be aware that the airport is experiencing serious baggage delays because of the lay-offs and the bad weather.”
“Thank you for flying Satan’s Airline. We know you have a choice in airlines, and through our code-share arrangements, no matter which one you choose, you still end up flying with us.”
(Yes, most of this true...)
“Welcome on board Satan’s Airline Flight 666. Due to bad weather at our destination, we will not be able to take-off for another 2 hours.”
“As we reach our cruising altitude, we will turn off the fasten seat belt sign. At this time, the flight attendants will go through the cabin to sell beverages and snacks. Everything costs $3.64 and exact change is required. The flight attendants are here for your safety, not to provide you with change.”
“Sorry to cut the beverage service short, but we are experiencing some serious turbulence. For your safety, please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts. The turbulence will be a problem for about 40 minutes.”
“Air sickness bags can be found in the seat back pockets. If you do not need your air sickness bag, please pass it to the rear of the aircraft where extra bags are desperately needed. Thank you!”
“As you can tell, we have started circling the airport. They are changing the runway configuration in response to the changing weather conditions. We estimate landing in about 30 minutes. Sorry for the turbulence, we will be on the ground just as soon as we can.”
“Satan’s Airline would like to welcome you to the 9th circle of Hell. For those of trying to make a connection, please check the monitors in the terminal for flight information. Since we are about 4 hours late, you have probably already missed your connection. To get rescheduled, go to the customer service desk in the main terminal. Expect the lines to be really long because we laid off most of our employees and the rest called in sick. If this is your final destination, you can collect your bags at baggage claim 5. Please be aware that the airport is experiencing serious baggage delays because of the lay-offs and the bad weather.”
“Thank you for flying Satan’s Airline. We know you have a choice in airlines, and through our code-share arrangements, no matter which one you choose, you still end up flying with us.”
(Yes, most of this true...)
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